Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
