Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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