I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
