one two three fourrrrnication!
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
