I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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