What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
