If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
