Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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