I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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