Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
