Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
try to milk me bitch
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
