you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
