Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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