Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
