508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
