Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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