We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you win again, gameday.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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