Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
