I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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