You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
