Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
