Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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