The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
