loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
