she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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