i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
