everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
