I am puke
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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