I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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