An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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