I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
