Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
