Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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