THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
