STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
