Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You should frame my arrest warrant.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize