I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
