I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
