You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
