I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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