arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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