I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
