man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
