That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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