tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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