The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
