I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize