Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
