After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
