I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
