Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
