apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
