he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
