I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
