He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
