All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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