fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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