She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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