Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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