even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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