woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
