My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
