too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
