Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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