That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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